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Tutukaka Boat Rides, New Zealand @Tripadvisor
Tutukaka Boat Rides, New Zealand @Tripadvisor

Forget about the kilt that makes its appearance at various civic functions and the annual Christmas parade. I won’t tell anyone but it is definitely not ANZAC, it actually belongs to Scotland and Ireland. If we can’t claim the kilt and have no recourse to dinky dirndl skirts with garters for the men to hold up their trousers. What is left. Australia and New Zealand, ANZAC have a defined cultural identity in clothing, it’s not obvious to visitors as they probably think we are scruffy. Casual board shorts, polynesian flower power and black is the new cool are part of our emerging, emerged clothing ID.

Ten ways to join the patriotic tourism club

How to be a patriotic tourist?

1

Wear a T shirt with the name of a place on it, perhaps the New Zealand flag or elements of the flag in the design. I promise you will not look stupid as everyone appreciates a bargain. The T-shirts were on special at the local visitor information site after all.

2

Make sure you gently brag about the fabulous trip you had to Tauranga at the office. To be nominated for sainthood people need to know about it. What’s the point of being a saint and no one knows. Details about how you supported the local rotary association as well as excellent meals in the local cafe.

3

Instagram and Facebook feeds are a given, chock full of local scenery, action shots, and the local visitor doing good in the community, aka spending money. Forget about cost as the rumour New Zealanders are going to get pocket money for the holidays is doing the rounds.

4

Lackadaisical experience with lousy service is a thing of the past, nowadays you cannot moan about poor service while on holiday. Charity begins at home and if you were served lukewarm coffee or the biscuits were several days old think about the paucity of people around to buy the biscuits. You are helping the economy purchasing slightly stale biscuits. Officially we are advised to no longer complain about poor service.

5

Fabulous service is now deulged with the full broadside of social media delight and wonder about how good we all are. All those overseas visitors can jump New Zealand and Australia up their bucket lists. ANZAC pride and all that.

6

Getting lost in the North Island, just past Hamilton is no longer stupidity it is you, the intrepid explorer finding a hidden gem just waiting for your social media blitz how great the place is with an accompanying modest byline how it took at least two hours to find the destination.

7

Rain, the howling gale and fog at the top of the mountain you’ve trudged up is not a disappointment. The instagram moment of you atop the highest peak on the East Cape evidence is mucked up. You’ve got there. Forget about the photo moment, remember there is always photoshop to remove the fog. Plus you’ve got a great story about personal heroism, the tourist (that’s you) achieved against the weather and the elements.

8

Patriotic tourism can sound boring. In fact it suspiciously sounds like a job description, shock, horror, as though a holiday is work. Holidays equate with fun and difference. Let’s ditch the highminded ideals of patriotism and simply have an adventure, fun, exhilaration and sheer joy. It’s not hard work you simply go on holiday downunder. Jet lag is banished to the memory banks, and crowds a thing of the past.

9

You do not need to worry about the budget as there are heaps of places and things that are absolutely free to indulge in. You can revel in Gisbourn’s natural water rock slides over 30 metres in length, explore underground caves lit with pinprick glow in the dark worms, be entranced at the vibrant colour of wildflowers in the Western Australian spring desert and savour the world-class food and wine experiences of the vineyards just around the corner.

10

Millions of visitors to Australia and New Zealand knew they were onto a good thing. Now we have the pleasure of finding out for ourselves what is so great about our place. Uncrowded hospitality excellence the choice is tremendous. Savour the moment.

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